Floating in the Midst of Everything

Once again I am in that state in life where everything seems “normal”. Too normal that I feel like I am just floating, going with the flow wherever the universe wants to take me. I guess I have always been the type of person that seeks new challenges, new things to do, and new things to learn. I can’t have just a normal and steady day. Guess I am a drama queen after all.

Today I just had a talk with two of my supervisors over lunch. One of them said she could see so much potential in me, and that I should not just always go with the flow. She said that she believes in me and knows that one day, soon enough, my true potential would show.

Oftentimes though, I find myself asking, “Have I been working too much that I am forgetting how to live?”. Working in my line of industry is a big challenge. You have to give up your time with family, friends and sometimes, even for yourself. Which is probably why I feel empty sometimes. Sometimes lang naman.

Two nights ago I was invited by one of Dennis’ barkada to join them in his birthday celebration at a club in Timog. It was last minute and good thing I was clothed decently, and not wearing my usual “pambahay look” on my way to and from the office. Upon entering the club, booming music welcomed us, and the smell of smoke. It has been a long time since I got to visit a club. Since I am not that close with his guy friends, I had the chance to observe the people inside the club, and thought about the time I was the one standing (or dancing) on the dance floor. I felt so free for just a few hours, singing and dancing the night away to my favorite songs. Nakakamiss maging carefree. Disclaimer though, hindi ako party girl. I just kind of went out with my friends to party a few times lang.

I am still dreaming of getting that dream job where it would give me work-life balance. I love my current company, but sometimes, being a hotelier really isn’t that easy. Right now I am, kind of, lost with what I want to do next. Lately I always ask myself, “What’s my next step?”. I am little bit half-hearted in staying and wanting to go away. I want to be promoted, but I also want to work in the US.

Basta, it’s like one big blur.

Though I am not sad naman, I am happier than sad, actually. I don’t know. Sometimes I don’t understand myself.  I need more me-time I suppose…

I always write here with so much thoughts, and it’s not even the half of what goes through my head everyday.

Wow, suddenly this sounds so depressing. Haha! Sorry for that, I have to stop talking now.

See you, folks! :)

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